"Full Time Working Mother of Two Whose Carb Addiction Turned Nearly Deadly"

Alright- a little dramatic title, but bonus points for getting you here.

I have been suffering with upper abdominal pain for the last four months, topped with unexplained weight gain, intestinal issues and no energy. Looking back in hindsight, my symptoms started well before that- more like about 18 months ago when I plateaued on my weight loss, regardless of what I ate, did, lifted, ran, walked or slept.

Thinking the upper ab pain was from a pulled muscle, then perhaps an ulcer, I underwent a Molotov cocktail of IBS and GERD inhibitors, pain medicine, a sonogram, endoscopy and a good round of blood work- all of which proved that I was a severe hypochondriac with a huge self esteem issue. Not the diagnosis I had anticipated.

I was at wits end. I contacted a natural healing specialist on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, who, after five minutes and one glance at my blood work, determined what I never wanted to be diagnosed with. "You have a gluten intolerance. Your body has been fighting against itself so long to digest the gluten that now certain parts are exhibiting pain, or malfunction."
Great, I'm thinking. How in the hell am I going to become gluten free with everything I have going on- you know, life?!

She continued. "You are going to get better. Don't go GF cold turkey. Take a day or so to digest, ha ha, this information, start to go through your cupboards, hit a good grocery store this weekend and off we go! You are going to heal. I promise you. You can do it."

So, with a handwritten note by the doc of good brands to look for, things to avoid, books to read and tote bag full of supplements to get my body back in good working order, I was back in the car.

I immediately came home and dove into a box of Wheat Thins like they were my last supper before my early-dawn execution. But, after dinner, I sat down, organized my supplements for the next ten days, started to think about what I would need to substitute and tried to keep it simple. You go out to eat, you get a salad- you go to a commercial restaurant, you look on their menu (like you already do anyway) and just find the GF stuff. It'll be okay.

It's been about two days since I've been given the news and today is my first full on Gluten Free day. I haven't broken out into withdrawal shakes, hives or started speaking in tongues. And I'm already starting to feel better. Tomorrow's mission is to track down some GF bagels with some hormone free cream cheese and I'll be in heaven- like the good old days!

Check in on my progress, my failures and successes. And if you have symptoms that seem unexplainable, seek medical advice. Don't make any assumptions or jump on some diet bandwagon because it works for someone else. And if you feel like how I felt, deflated and knowing there MUST be an explanation for your symptoms, remember the natural specialists out there, too!

A Little Late- But In a Good Way

So, as promised, I was going to post right after retrieval. We all accept the fact THAT didn't happen. My apologies. I became wrapped up into life as I came out of the cloud of needle pricks and mid-afternoon phonecalls with script changes and anticipations of travel dates to Rockville.

All in all, the egg donation process was a great thing. What?! you say? (Read the previous posts to catch up). I feel like I am at a point now where I can realistically look back into weight loss (just ten pounds, c'mon!- not that much to ask!) and not feel like I have something fighting against me besides the obvious- me.

Despite January being calm at work-besides a new friend and co-worker (same person, don't be confused) joining the normal chaos, me giving eggs to a stranger and my kids being only on antibiotics once- February is proving itself to be a bear of sorts. To begin with, it's the shortest month we've got to deal with- there is some fashion of false promises as far as weather goes. 50 one day- kids off for two days the next due to 1/10" of ice accumulation on one roadway in one county. At work, there is a culmination of emotions in the office where we're starting to feel the annual pull- and the request to really push hard the last 90 days of our fiscal year to get our shit together and bring in the dollars; after we've spent the last nine months enduring the work to accomplish the very same thing.
To add to this, my sister has a birthday. Nothing traumatic there, but since she's 13 years younger than I and I have a clear memory of her birth, it makes me feel incredibly older than I should. And not that that's enough- I have a birthday this month. February 29th. Yes, Leap Year. The answer is no (not this year), yes (I celebrate in February when I can), every presidential election (when I have a birthday and finally 7 3/4 (the age I turn in 2011).

I have had many of my friends, partners in my Leadership Anne Arundel class, donors, etc. asking me how I balance it all. I really think that day time happiness plays a huge role in my life. As I reflected with one of my donors recently when asked about me working outside the home, away from my kids, I said that knowing that I have to work and being miserable in my job would make me a miserable person. But, having the opportunity to do what I love doing (making people happy) makes knowing that I have to work much more tolerable. And isn't that the way everyone is? Do I miss my kids? Of course I do. But, do I love what I do outside the house? Damn straight. Will my kids respect that decision and have more respect for me when it's time for them to, will they? I can only hope.

A Hen and A Scale Walk into a Bar...

I am on day eight of stimulation for the egg donor process. They have a new protocol so things are going a bit faster than before- which just fine by me. It truly is very exciting for me to be a part of this and hopefully by this time next week, a very deserving couple will be on their way to parenthood.


I have also started a Biggest Loser contest with some parents and friends at my youngest son's school. Granted I lost 2.4 lbs last week, the fact I am on hormone stimulating drugs, prenatal vitamins and am growing around the middle slightly makes the first two weeks of the contest a bit of a pre-training session, rather than real competition. And if you know me for five minutes, you realize that I am as far from competitive as it gets. I am using this contest as a motivator! Alice Anne! A motivator!


The last, oh, six months, have been a bit of a stress physically and emotionally, so I am hoping for a relaxing spring- so I can get in primo shape for the beach season.


At last count there were 14 follicles growing. For those who don't know, that is potentially 14 eggs. They actually won't know how many eggs they will get until I go in for retrieval. Even with the best technology, some things remain a mystery. I am at the point where I am feeling mildly uncomfortable, but am still able to move around and be productive.

The doc comes in this morning during my exam, takes one look at the screen and noted the plethoria of images and makes the uber obvious comment that I am very fertile. I smile, nod, and say (inside my head), "No shit. That's why I have two kids and you've picked me twice to do this." He says, "You may want to consider doing this again."

Otherwise, I am adjusting well to my new digs and role at work. My goals are focusing more on the planned giving for the Foundation. There is still a bit of transition going on at work, all positive of course.

I'll post again after I go for retrieval. Or if something needs to be shared.

A Donor Discussion and A Lesson on Giving

For the growing number of folks I have told that I have become an egg donor, it's almost comical to hear their reactions to it. Most people don't think it's a good thing to do- their decision made mostly out of ignorance on the subject.

I'm not calling you ignorant. Read on.

Why did I really start to do this? Okay kids, story time.

Once upon a time in a far away land one of my dearest friends married her sweetheart. She wanted to start the family within a few years. Once settled in their first home, they decided to start trying for a baby. And they tried. And tried. And tried. No baby.
I never wanted children. Not any time soon anyway. I had a career which needed grooming, life settling that needed to be done- and children were not a part of that plan. But life had a different itinerary. In a few quick moves found myself married and a mother of one. All before my best friend had her first. What agony.
That's when it came to me. Why is that there are people out there that desperately want children, who deserve children, but cannot have them? Cancer patients in remission have barely a chance of getting pregnant. Folks with other medical concerns are also in the same bucket. I told my friend that came hell or highwater we were going to get her a few kids, even if it took my uterus to do it!

On the day my friend was to seek more advanced medical advice to conceive, she found out she was pregnant. But the seed had already been planted (no pun intended) in my head. I wanted to help others.
So, after an application modeling that for your top secret clearance entry, genetic testing, every other testing possible, I was approved.
Even though my best friend never needed help (she now has two darling children) it has made me thrilled knowing that others can now be happy.

Painful? Not really.
Surgery? No.
Do I think there are 50% "Me's" out there? No. It takes two to tango.
Will I be able to have more children if I so choose? Absolutely.

And a message from your local fundraising professional and friend:

If you do nothing else, give. Give to something you believe in. You don't have to give body parts (really, don't go crazy), but give of your time, your knowledge, your wallet to something that you are passionate about. And if you don't know what that is, take a moment to reflect on something you couldn't do without. Then think of someone that may not have it. Education. Health. Basic services. Job assistance. Clothing. Food. It's always a great base to start your philanthropic efforts.

Here's to 2011

So, another year has come and gone. Super. But what a dynamic year it was. My dreams of being the smallest I've ever have been did NOT come to fruition. I did not read more. I didn't follow through with drinking a gallon of water a day... but then again- don't I sound like the majority of the population when discussing past New Year's resolutions?
I say it was a bit dynamic because I did do a few things I normally don't do on a regular basis.

I started a new job- a great job at that. Tomorrow will be my one year anniversary at the College and I couldn't be happier. I do resolve to sign up for at least ONE class though (be it I work for a community college- it just makes sense, right?)

I became an egg donor for a local fertility center. And how exciting that was! To know that I helped three couples potentially to have children just rocks my inner world like there is no tomorrow. If you want to have a babe, you should be able to have one is my strong belief- just as I believe in the 180 of that sentence. If I can do something simple and temporary to help someone else accomplish that, why not? As we start 2011, I am on step to helping out another couple in January.
Are there any downsides to this? A few. My body becomes a little out of whack for a couple months in total- some weight gain, tiredness, okay- maybe moody (but that's only out of my husband's mouth). But the end result- I'm back to normal, someone else is pregnant.

In other news. I buried two grandparents in 2010. Something I would not like to repeat in 2011; which would be a bit tough since I'm running out of grandparents. Moral of the story- less death this year would be appreciated.

I turned 30. That, will never be repeated. Thank God.

I started golfing. This I have learned from this new sporting hobby: 1) I desperately need lessons and 2) I have no patience for 18 holes worth of golf.

So, maybe the class I sign up for is golf- or a workout class to achieve what I just couldn't pull off in 2010- a great game of golf and a smaller waistline.

My other loosely gathered 2011 resolution: Push my friends to get out and hang out more- whatever that means- in person, on the phone whatever to get a closer bond with that group of people you need in your life. Life is too short to spend it with just yourself.

Perhaps get on here and bitch more or let you in on how my wheels are turning.
Find the calm amongst the chaos.

Here's to my ramble of 2010. I welcome you, 2011, and all that it will become.

It's Friday- Crap!

I've had one of those weeks that didn't want me to leave work for the weekend. After being engrossed in a few very promising and strategic meetings this week, (and a few that weren't- don't we all?), it left me with loose ends not tied up prior to leaving the office today. That drives me nuts. Now, many people would have one of two answers to Friday afternoon dilemma. First would be to say, "Well, you know what you have waiting for you when you get into work on Monday." The second would say, "Well, hell, throw it in the briefcase, you'll draft it up over the weekend so you don't have to worry about it come next week."
Eeyah.. I am not a "first responder". It kills me to "leave it hangin'" on the desktop over the weekend; probably because I will think of about 30 new concepts to add to that project/proposal/draft, and I know myself well enough to know that I certainly will not remember all of these absolutely brilliant ideas come Monday.
However, I can't easily be the "second responder", and here is why. From the moment I get in my car on my way home, my mindset changes from cultivation and solicitation appointments (and that briefcase full of great work to do) to "Did I grab an extra two granola bars this morning for the boys for afternoon snack on their way home? Is Mason's blankie in the car? Did I pull chicken to defrost for dinner tonight? Where is my bluetooth? When did my oil change light come on? Is someone's birthday this weekend?"
You get the point.
So, what is a full-time employed, full-time mother of two preschool aged children, barely insane, yet functioning wife, to do on a regular basis when faced with these dilemmas? Well, I've seen many people be the "first responder" and many be the "second responder"- to both success and failure.
Some, (albeit few in our niche), have the ability to mentally remember all of those great, fabulous thoughts over the weekend, file them, focus on life outside of work and resume as normal on Monday. Fantastic. Kudos to you .00002 percent of the population.
I've also seen others that just say, "Oh, I'll deal with it on Monday." And then Monday becomes Tuesday, to Wednesday and by Thursday when you remember a glimmer of that fantastic idea from last week (what day did I think of that anyway?) just went from a tropical storm to a summer breeze.
When your life loves your job and you love your life because your job reflects your life, you can justifibly take (some) moments to work on that uber-important proposal on a Saturday night after the kids are in bed (but before Weekend Update of SNL) and your husband is watching his 4th college ball replay game of the day. You can also justifibly take those weekends to focus on more important things- like kicking the ball in the backyard, bringing the kids to that cool festival downtown, or potty training (or cleaning up from potty training). You will return to work either way knowing that you made the right decision this weekend. It's not work to live, it's not live to work- it's love work that loves you and lets you live- weekend work or not.

And what did I do this afternoon to plan for the weekend? Well, I filled the briefcase- it's still in the car, or maybe it's in the house next to the macaroni T-Rex creation... plus, I can't forget to add.. what was it.. to that proposal for Monday- oh, it'll come to me!

Sidetracking Dreams or Just Giving It A Rest?

There are moments when we all think we know what we want to do for the rest of our lives. Right now, I think I will be in Fundaising and Non-Profit for the rest of my life. And that probably will be the case. Unless, I get the opportunity to open another restaurant, or go to law school, or win the lottery and stay home with my kids, or be a consultant, or...

You get the point.

I was talking with a friend of mine today who is nearing the end of current job in education. I asked her for a job update this morning and she told me she had an offer at a great (non-educational) company in the area. But she started to cry. "I'm leaving my lifelong dream. But I have to think about what my family needs right now. And how do I know that I can even do this job?"

I explained to her that when I got the offer at the College, it was the greatest, scariest day I ever had. College level fundraising. With one of the biggest organizations in the county. The Big Show. I thought for sure they had made a mistake and I was going to fall flat on my face.

"Now how do you feel?" she asked.

"Taking that job was the best decision I could have made. I know that it prevents me from tucking my kids in every single night, or picking them up from school sometimes. But I hope they see that my success is their benefit in the long run and have more respect for me because of it. And at that place, falling on your face is simply not an option. There is always a safety net of support beneath you."

One often forgets that an average human has a multitude of different dreams- in the same night. I believe that carries into our waking hours, too. So, try something different, or get stuck in a great dream for a while- either way, you'll be glad you did.